BARBERELLA WALTERS EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH THE NEW LEADER OF CUBA

BARBARELLA WALTERS EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH THE NEW LEADER OF CUBA Barbara Walters: (In her signature calm and measured tone) “Good evening. Tonight, we have an exclusive interview with a man whose presence on the global stage has shaken the world. The new leader of Cuba, Fidel Junior, has not only taken control of his father’s legacy but has also acquired nuclear weapons. And, as he’s boldly stated, he will not hesitate to use them... on the ‘infidel dogs,’ as he calls them. Welcome, Fidel Junior.” Fidel Junior: (Leaning back in his chair, wearing a brightly colored tropical shirt and sunglasses) “Thank you, Barbara. It’s good to be here. Though, I must say, I was hoping for snacks.” Barbara Walters: (Politely) “We’ll make sure you have snacks after the interview. Now, Fidel Junior, the world is on edge. You’ve declared that you possess nuclear weapons and have made some rather... threatening statements. Why such an aggressive stance?” Fidel Junior: (Waving his hand dismissively) “Aggressive? No, no, no, Barbara. You misunderstand me. I’m not aggressive—I’m assertive. There’s a difference. Like when my abuela tells me to take out the trash, but I assert that I’m busy with state affairs, like planning revolutionary dance parties. Big difference.” Barbara Walters: “I see. But threatening to use nuclear weapons on what you’ve termed ‘infidel dogs’ has made many world leaders nervous.” Fidel Junior: (Grinning) “Oh, the ‘infidel dogs’ thing? That’s just... how do you Americans say... branding. Every strong leader needs a catchphrase. Dad had ‘¡Viva la Revolución!’ I’ve got ‘infidel dogs.’ It’s catchy, no?” Barbara Walters: (Unfazed) “It certainly is memorable. But some might say it's provocative. Are you truly prepared to use these weapons, or is this all part of a show?” Fidel Junior: (Leaning in dramatically) “Barbara, let me be clear. I’m a man of peace, but also a man of spice. You don’t threaten the spice cabinet without consequences. I may have nukes, yes, but they are like... fine rum